Celebrating 20 years of marriage

Long term relationships are hard to find today, and this month I am happy to say I am celebrating 20 years of marriage with my hubby.  We met 27 years ago at a dance, and yes I was just a child.  When I stop and hear those words 27 years, I sometimes can't believe we have been together for over half our life.  Wow, someone please give my husband a medal!  People have asked me, "what is your secret? "   

Well, at my wedding my grandmother said to me, "always remember no matter how angry you are, never go to bed angry."  Good words of advice, but not always easy to live by.  So what have I learned in my 20 years of wedded bliss?  I have learned that marriage is hard work and sometimes you do go to bed angry, and you must communicate with each other in order to keep your marriage alive. 

In the beginning we had the same goals and we worked towards those goals.  We decided to have children right away, and boy does that ever change the dynamics of the relationship.  Instead of just having the two of us to think about we now had these precious children we created together, to love, nurture, teach and worry about.  When a child is born you both have ideas of how you see raising that child, and some of those ideas may be similar but can also be very different, especially if you came from different upbringings.  This is your first test at being able to communicate, and you better learn fast, for I guarantee that precious child you created will learn at a very early age how to play both of you.   

As the children grow, parents age and life gets busy you can sometimes get lost in the relationship, and feel like you are two ships passing in the night.  You learn quickly to adjust to the many changes in life, and sometimes you don't learn to adjust and that is when I think most marriages end. Is it easy?  Heck no! Did we ever argue? Absolutely!  Did you ever feel like it might not be forever?  It crossed our minds.  If it wasn't for dedication to the family unit as a whole, which included the extended family, we may not have made it to 20 years. 

One day a good friend said to me "when you feel like your world is changing to quickly and your on a different chapter than your spouse you need to stop and wait for the other one to catch up."  Those are great words of advice and I can honestly say they helped my marriage.  There were many a time when my hubby and I were on different chapters in the book of life and I am sure there will be many more times to come.

So my secret to 20 years of marriage, would be communication, dedication and good friends.  Is that the answer for all marriages?  I don't know, but I do know that it is the advice I will give my kids and grandkids at their wedding.