When a loved one requires care and you live miles apart.

CARE-GIVING LONG DISTANCE

Many of us as we age do not think of ourselves requiring care and hopefully we won't require care, but what if we do?  A concern for most of my clients and readers is who will care for us should we require care and what happens if our loved ones or support systems aren't close by?  It can be stressful and exhausting caring for a loved one, I know, I have and am living through care-giving.  It can even be more stressful and exhausting if your loved one lives far away.  Not all of us can move closer to our loved ones and in some cases it is not realistic to have our loved ones move closer to us, so what do you do?

 

First you need to assess the situation throughly before any changes or moves are made.  You need to look at what support systems may already be readily available or in place.  Some questions to ask or think about.  Do other family members or friends live close by to your loved one and can they help care for them?  What community support services are there in your loved ones community?  What type of private care is available and what is the cost?  Does your love one have access to adequate medical care from where they live?  Can your loved one still drive or do they have access to adequate transportation should they need it? Has your loved one appointed someone as power of attorney over their financial and health decisions? Once you are comfortable with your assessment, then you can decide whether or not your loved one or yourself needs to relocate. 

If you feel your loved one does require care it is sometimes best to call a family meeting with everyone involved and discuss options.  This way no one feels left out and everyone will hopefully be on the same page.  It is extremely important if your loved one is capable to have them express what type of care and who and where they would like to receive care.  Remember this is a very sensitive subject for them, they where once independent and now they are not.  There are people who can help with these family meetings if you are not comfortable putting one together.  You may need to do some research in your area for these people, or ask others who have been caregivers to recommend someone. 

When care-giving for a loved one no matter what the distance, always remember you need to balance your life between your other obligations, such as your own family, work and most importantly your health.  If you can you should try to hook yourself up with other caregivers or professionals that can help you through this process.  As I work through my own family care-giving needs I hope to be able to provide on my website a list of contacts and support systems.

 

*Please note the information given in this blog is just my opinion and professional advice should be sought to discuss your own situation.